Im Perfect, Youre Doomed: Tales from a Jehovahs Witness Upbringing

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Never mind how popular you are when you hand out the Watchtower instead of candy at Halloween. When Abrahams turned eighteen, things got even stranger. That's when she found herself married to a man she didn't love, with adultery her only way out.

August 2009

Raucously funny, deeply unsettling, and written with scorching wit and deep compassion, I'm Perfect, You're Doomed explores the ironic absurdity of growing up believing that nothing matters because everything's about to be destroyed. When Abrahams was growing up, her world was neatly divided between those who would live forever in a paradise on earth and all the worldly people her Jehovah's Witness family prayed for.

Her congregation forbade Christmas and Halloween, aggressively shunned anyone who left the fold and taught children that birthday parties were of the devil.

  1. I'm Perfect, You're Doomed | Book by Kyria Abrahams | Official Publisher Page | Simon & Schuster;
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For kicks in her early teens, Abrahams would go witnessing door-to-door with her pal Lisa, a die-hard J-Dub. This acerbic, witty memoir chronicles the first 23 years of Abraham's life with candor and a good dose of comedy. Unlike other memoirs written by the disenchanted, Abrahams musters some affection for her decent but screwed-up family, and even for the religion itself.

Kyria Abrahams | DeFiore and Company

Where the story hits a rough patch is in her account of her late teens and early 20s, when she dropped out of high school; rushed into a disastrous teen marriage; fell into alcohol, drugs and adultery; and finally fired Jehovah as personal bodyguard and became an apostate divorc e. After a few hours everyone was relaxed and in a fun mood.

Comedienne Kyria Abrahams Discusses Her Memoir I'm Perfect, You're Doomed

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Watch the full episode following Olivia now on Patreon for free! Then I could sit down and write the story in a way that people could actually enjoy reading.


She gave a reading. After the reading, Abrahams says, she and her mother spoke briefly. She left. There was the church member who ate several cloves of garlic a day. She became increasingly huffy with each passing eruption. A book is the only way to tell the story. Abrahams, who never graduated from high school, wrote in her free time from her job as a Web producer and editor.

Authors > Kyria Abrahams

Her book sounds awesome, but I'm confused as to why she'd choose the title. JWs do not believe they're perfect. It sounds like her understanding of JW theology is a little incomplete--perhaps the result of leaving the religion at such a young age? Daniel, the title is really more of a metaphor.

You know, trying to come up with a title is a long process and goes back and forth between the agent and publisher. Just put "saved" in place of perfect and that's more of what is intended by the title. They are the perfect religion, although the people themselves don't think they are perfect.